Cycling, my call?

For the past few months have I been preparing myself for maybe the heaviest trial in my cycling career so far. Now, the time has come and on Saturday I'm riding the Amstel Gold Race: a 250km ride (mostly uphill) in the Southern hills of Holland.
I'm giving up practically everything just for that reason. Not only for the coming tour, but for every other tour yet to come along my way until the ultimate goal has been achieved: the "Tour de France".

Why did I choose for that? Is it worth the trouble? Is this the smartest thing to do, or am I being an unrealistic guy who's simply going after an illusion? People say I'll never reach it and that I'm already too late. But am I unreal when I can ride 200 kmts in one day and beat 4 of my own records in once? Judge it yourself:
1. I rode from Den Bosch to Amsterdam in 3 hours (100kmts).
2. I completed the 200 k's with an average speed of 30km/h.
3. In the last sprint uphill, I reached a speed of 42km/h.
4. Once home, I even had energy enough to shower, do some shopping for myself, and eventually go to the youth meeting at night.

"Imppressive", you may say; the same way I thought of myself. I must say that it's been God's grace on me Who grant me the perfect day to accomplisch such achievements. It's surely not been easy. I even almost fainted once, but it's always God's hand the which held me tight and let me faint not.

It has surely being my best day of the year concerning cycling.
However...who cares?
Sure enough did I hear that people are proud of me, but that will surely not lead me to accomplishment of those so longed dreams. In order to break those records, did I have to give up studying for my tests, did I have to buy new accesories for the bike, did I have to spend more than expected in the needed food; actually, did I have to dare taking such a ride.
Ok, "But if your love doing it" you may say. I love it indeed, and I'll keep on doing it as long as it's possible for me to do so. However, not when it's not worth the sacrifice. This Saturday, for the Amstel Gold Race, I have to do everything on my own. No trasnportation, no food, not even a hand lapping my shoulder encouraging me, what's worse, there will be not even a welcoming hand waiting for me at the end of it. I'm sorry people, but if you know me and are expecting me to ride head to head with Lance Armstrong in the Tour De France, don't leave me alone that I need your support. I can't this on my own. I've given up everything already: studies, money, home, even my girlfriend. Call me stupid, call me crazy, call me challenging, I don't care... but in God's name, if you want me to ride the Tour de France and accomplish God's call for me, do something for it as well please.